Ever notice how much we do in an attempt to fulfill ourselves in this life? I don’t know about you, but I tend to live every second of every day with the suspicion that if I ‘just had that one magic thing’ or ‘that one magic habit’ or ‘did things that one magic way’ I would suddenly be productive and beautiful and popular and successful and righteous and full of energy. If I would only get organized. If I would only get an iPod. If I would only write more frequently in my blog. Then my life would be better. Just you wait and see.
But that, for better or worse, is not the world in which we live. One by one, those strategies let us down. Even if I do get organized, I will fall into disorganization again soon enough. Even if I do get that iPod, it probably won’t live up to the greatness I imagined before I had it. Even if we successfully pull off all of our plans to better ourselves, where do we end up? Staring the hard, cold truth in the face: this stuff does not bring meaning to our lives. It brings only emptiness. Sure, we can make temporary adjustments. We can slap on a patch that makes us feel better for a little while. But none of it lasts
My Dad has called this human syndrome “medication by shopping.” He was referring specifically to the use of material objects as ‘patches’ to make us feel better; but I would like to extend his metaphor to include desire for friends, success, and popularity as ‘medications’. If you think about it, we go through life as if we were a dam about to burst. Our foundation is criss-crossed with cracks, and we reach frantically for things to stop the gaps. We grasp after objects, fashion, people, success, whole identities, as ways to fill the cracks in our life. But it makes no difference; these solutions are fleeting, and we fall apart just the same. We need a bigger fix.
I bring all of this up, because I, personally, have really been struggling with this recently. I tend to blame my problems on procrastination, on not getting enough sleep, on some variables in a given situation that aren’t quite right. And I search, whether consciously or not, for ’solutions’ like spending more time on the internet, like mentally refusing to start working on one thing until another thing is just perfect, or like avoiding the work altogether. And the whole while I’m thinking… “If I would only set up this one kind of file system… or get this one kind of alarm clock… or buy these kinds of clothes… then I would feel better about myself and be able to work.”
We are excellent at setting up straw men to take the blame away from ourselves; and, ultimately to distract us from He who is the One, the only solution to our problems. But even having written all this, I know I will not suddenly change. This post, like everything I’ve mentioned, is not a solution. It is a call to consider what is really important, and what is really causing our problems, and Who can really fix them.
February 5th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Yeah, I’ve noticed that. But my new mouse is coming, and once it does, I’ll have the perfect computer system. Of course, I need to get more RAM because it would speed the computer up significantly. Then I’ll have the perfect computer system, and I’d be very productive.
… except then I’d need a bigger hard drive because if I am more productive with my perfect system, I’ll make more stuff and need bigger storage. But then for better management I’d need the new OS X 10.5 becuase that will make it easier to use my computer and boosting my productivity even more! And then I’d need a even bigger hard drive …
… in short, I agree with you.
February 5th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Exactly.
February 6th, 2006 at 11:25 am
Nicely put.