To Whom it May Concern

The following post is a public service announcement to keep family members or friends who may read this blog in the loop about my life. It is also to help prevent awkward conversations in the future. I don’t mind if those of you who don’t know me in real life read this, but you may not find it that interesting.

Elijah and I are no longer together as a couple. (If you didn’t know we were together in the first place, this post may be of little concern to you, but for the record we had been together for almost three years.) This news may come as a surprise to some of you; others of you, like me, may have seen the stormclouds brewing for quite some time. The gist is this: Elijah and I have had various issues that have grown increasingly more contentious over the past year. It became clear to me that I really could not be implying the commitment I was implying, which was that I was interested in marrying Elijah. Our “more than friends” relationship was communicating something to ourselves and others that did not really exist anymore, and we were forgetting how to be friends, to boot.

I won’t pretend that this has not been a tearful process for me. Anything that uproots your assumptions of the last three years is rather shaking. But I also would like to emphasize what a positive move I feel this is for both of us, and how much I still truly care about Elijah and his family. They are all still important people in my life, and I hope and pray that Elijah and I will continue to be friends. We still have many of the same mutual friends, we still take many of the same classes–we may even still end up going to the same college.

Also please understand that neither of us was at all blameless in this process, and nobody “dumped” anybody. I could have been so much more patient with him and kind to him in so many ways, and I do regret now that I wasn’t. But I would not say that I regret ever having entered our relationship. That would be to minimize the impact it had on my life and on my development as a person–and also how much I cared about him. And because of that, because I don’t regret it, I won’t be removing the pictures or posts relating to him or us. They were a real part of my life, and I’m not going to deny them or pretend they didn’t happen. That would be disrespectful to Elijah–and just plain denial.

I’m not going to go into any more particulars in my blog, but If you know me in person, I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have or to talk it over with you. And I don’t even mind if you want to tell other people about us; if you know someone who you think should know or would like to know this information, please feel free to tell them. (You could even point them to this post.) My main desire is that people refrain from gossiping behind my back about this. Come to me for your information before you start concocting tales of what may or may not have happened. Thank you.

But the really important thing for me, and for all of us, to remember is this: God has a plan for each of our lives, and He’s not going to let our mistakes get in the way of it. When our life take a U-turn from where we thought it was headed, it’s helpful to remember that He’s in charge–not me, or anyone else; and however it happens is the way it was supposed to happen. I think that’s something we can all take a little bit of comfort in.

Posted on Tuesday, April 18th, 2006 at 10:40 pm.
Belongs with: Happening Things.
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