For seventeen years, I have successfully hid my true nature.
If you were to meet me on the street, you would probably think I was a normal, perky, dainty, well-adjusted young adult. You would almost certainly not guess the horrifying truth, that I spend more hours in front of the computer each day then I do moving—That I have read almost every Star Wars novel in existence (up until the midpoint of the New Jedi Order series, because I lost interest and really, who wants to read about those Yuuzhan Vong dudes anyway?) and have watched the original trilogy so many times that I can easily picture the intimate details of each character’s facial expressions in any given moment of the films. It’s true—I have distinct geek tendencies. And the first sentence of this post was pretty much a lie, because anyone who knows me even a little bit knows about the geekiness.
And now, it seems, my not-so-secret lifestyle is catching up with me. Over the last several… days? weeks? months? I’m not even sure anymore… my eyes have been growing increasingly strained. I’ve noticed myself squinting at bright lights and rubbing my temples trying to relieve the pressure. I have a hard enough time doing my schoolwork as it is, but when I pick up a book and all the words crowd together on the page, it becomes a Herculean feat to concentrate on reading it. Even surfing the web and writing on my blog have become semi-painful experiences.
Today it was worse than it has ever been, and after a day of shading my eyes from the overcast sky and squinting at words on pages and wearing sunglasses indoors (Sunglasses! Indoors!), I think it is probably time to admit that glasses are likely going to be a part of my near future. I spent the afternoon imagining horrible situations in which I visited an eye doctor, and he informed me that glasses wouldn’t help, and really all I needed to do was stop using computers altogether or else I would LOSE MY EYESIGHT FOREVER. Can you imagine? I don’t know how I would cope without my computer. (Take a moment to let the pathetic-ness of that statement overwhelm you.) I mean, not only do I do a fair amount of my schoolwork on it, but web work is (hopefully) going to be a significant part of my income this summer and goodness knows I would miss blogging.
We will just have to see. In addition to being something of a geek, I am also something of a hypochondriac, so it is entirely possible that I am exaggerating this whole situation in my head. More likely than not, I will go to get my eyes checked and they will say, “You crazy person! You have twenty-twenty vision. It’s all in your head,” and I will go home dejected and wondering whether they were telling me the truth. But there’s also that other possibility, that I will end up fulfilling my geek destiny and earning the nickname “Four-eyes.” *Sigh * I guess we all knew it had to happen someday. I just thought it might at least wait till after my mid-life crisis.
Oh, and, while we’re on the topic of making myself sound ridiculous, why don’t you check out the most ridiculous picture of me you will ever see in your entire life (I hope):
Imagine my embarrassment. Here I am feeding you all these cool, artistic pictures of myself and Natalie has the gall to capture my “flustered goose” look. Oh well. Serves me right.
May 26th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
It might help to increase the natural lighting as much as possible when you use your eyes a lot. My eyes get mad if I live in man-made lighting all day long.
Anyways, just a thought.
May 26th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
Oh my gosh! Nothing is worse that a Star Wars loving, blind, hypochondriac, wed designing, geek…….Yuck!
LOL, just kidding…..get to that eye docter and take care of yourself!
May 27th, 2006 at 12:23 am
I agree with James- and try to minimize computer use in the dark. Talk about eye strain.
May 27th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Thanks for the tips, guys. My eyes have not felt as bad today or yesterday… but then again, I have been at work a lot of that time, not sitting in front of a computer. :-/
And Lol, Dennis, you made me laugh. A Star Wars loving, blind, hypchondriac, web-designing geek indeed! =D
May 27th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Might be a symptom of programmers sight. Ive spent the last 25 years in front of a computer screen. I noticed my eyes going blury and headaches. The optometrist said my eyes were ok but I would still get blury vison. I went back a forth three times (trying a different optometrist each time) until my eyes were blurry at the time I visited one and they prescribed glasses. Been right ever since.
May 28th, 2006 at 8:26 am
I love photos like this that the subject hates! Nice Yoda Jedi Master shirt! There is no “try” flustered goose, there is only “do” or “not do”.
May 28th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Just remember, “Four eyes good, two eyes bad!”
May 28th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Julien - That’s kind of scary! I hope I don’t have a similar experience. It’s hard enough to get into an optometrist that I don’t relish the idea of trying to get there while I’m “having” the blurry vision. Ick.
Funkyj and Victoria - Lol. That’s all I have to say.
May 31st, 2006 at 5:04 am
If 2 eyes are good then 4 eyes must be twice as good right?
And geekiness is only one step away from enlightenment.
May 31st, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Hey, I’m not trying to plug my blog or anything, but I had a very similar experience awhile back and blogged about it, too. It might make you feel better to know you aren’t the only computer-crazed geek with eye problems.
http://delphineous.blogspot.com/2006/02/i-am-vision-impaired.html
Whatever you do, don’t rub your eyes when they get blurry!
Good luck.
May 31st, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Kiki - Not at all! Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you shared your story. That’s crazy! Now I feel bad for even complaining at all, because your experience sounds about one hundred times worse than mine. I hope your eyes are doing better now!
And Vu - geekiness is next to godliness, eh?
June 1st, 2006 at 5:10 am
No… not godliness. That may be stepping on toes. I prefer to leave religion out of comments.
Enlightenment (my definition) = complete understanding and acceptance of ones self.
June 1st, 2006 at 7:39 am
Excuse me, Vu! I hope I was not stepping on your toes. Leaving religion out of comments is often a good policy, because it usually leads to unneccessary arguments. Not that religion is not important, or that anyone should hide their religious views… just that “discussions” (arguments) on the internet about such things are not usually very productive.
But as far as my comment was concerned, I really just meant to put a twist on a common phrase.
June 1st, 2006 at 10:03 am
Oh no no, by no means did you step on my toes… I was just saying I don’t like to do the stepping.
And I totally agree with your comment that “discussions” (arguments) on the internet about such things are not usually very productive.
June 1st, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Thanks Erin! My eyes are much better. It turned out my prescription stayed the same and rubbing my eye had just temporarily caused the pressure to change in the vitrious fluid, which caused all the wierdness in my vision. But, for weeks there I had to limit my time on the internet (oh, the pain!).
Hope your eyes turn out okay, too!