Tonight, as I stood behind the register at the anonymous retail location where I work, I performed my usual duty of directing entering customers to the various nooks and crannies of the store where they could find scissors and puzzles and candy.
Whenever I wasn’t helping customers, I worked on various projects behind the counter. At one such moment, as I stood bent in concentration over something I was working on, a pleasant female voice called out from the doorway, “Do you have a copy machine here?”
Distracted, I automatically turned, ready to point this customer in the direction of the copier. But then I stopped, mid-point, my mouth hanging open, my excellent customer service aborted before it even began, because there in the doorway stood MALIBU BARBIE.
I kid you not—this woman was so skinny and fake-tanned and caked with makeup and bleached-blonde and top-heavy that I was afraid if she tweaked her head a little too far with that gigantic, sparkling white smile of hers, it would pop clean off. If Barker’s Beauties had been there, they would have been weeping in jealousy at this woman’s feet.
Somehow I managed to pull myself together, and instead of SCREAMING IN TERROR I politely directed her toward the copying machine. And as she walked away, I stood there shell-shocked, wondering what could drive a woman to so completely obscure her own identity.
I have a message for you, Ms. Barbie, should you ever happen to read this: YOU WERE PROBABLY PRETTY ONCE. And I’m sure you could be so again, if only you wouldn’t try so hard.
Please, I’m begging you… take off several layers of makeup, let your hair be its natural color, and don’t, uh, erm, enhance yourself any more than you probably already have. For heaven’s sake, you look like you belong in Madame Tussauds. Botox is not beauty.
/rant. 
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:32 am
Too bad you didn’t have your camera eh?
August 2nd, 2006 at 8:25 am
What is it with some people who think they need layers of makeup and surgery on every single body part to make themselves look good? I think beauty is something natural, not something you can make yourself
http://nataliejost.com/blog/the-most-attractive-woman
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:20 pm
It seems like way too much trouble to worry so much about appearance to me:) I don’t really know anyone like this, but if I did I would really like to interview them to see what drives obsession with themselves. Chances are they have good reasons, so I will try not to judge too much for now:)
August 2nd, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Be real….thats why we look the way we do.
August 2nd, 2006 at 8:19 pm
The irony of it is that women like that do those things to attract men but only shallow and superficial guys are actually attracted by that so the guys they meet are not actually worth meeting. It is a very sad thing and a waste of true beauty given by God.
August 3rd, 2006 at 8:57 am
Hi Erin, since you joined RS, I’ve been reading you blog alot and I have added you to my own blog=) Love your blog! And the photos! Very jealous=) Keep it up.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:05 am
It seems that everyone here has great self esteem. So this may not make any sense to any of you but… what if…
This woman has a self esteem issue?
Is it wrong for her to try and be as beautiful as she can be? No matter how off kilter it seems to us? Perhaps she does it just to get herself through the day? I see no wrong in that. But it’s a little freakish I agree.
August 3rd, 2006 at 1:58 pm
I’m no make-up expert here, but I know that it can be use in good ways and bad ways (and in this case, of course, it was bad).
Good way: Put on lightly, used only in small amounts (One of our friends at our church uses small amount of make-up. I didn’t even know until my mom told me).
Bad way: Completely obscuring your true identity with mascara, lipstick, or whatever.
Seriously. When you can tell somebody used a lot of make-up, you almost feel compelled not to trust them or like them, since they basically lied about their appearance already.
August 6th, 2006 at 1:24 am
Ruben - thanks for pointing that article out to me!
Jesse - You’re right, of course, that I shouldn’t judge so quickly. We all have our struggles in life, and perhaps that is hers. Thank you for reminding me.
Elisabeth - I’m so glad that you’re enjoying my blog.
Thank you so much for letting me know.
Vu - As I said to Jesse, perhaps self esteem is one of that woman’s struggles in life. I guess I really feel more sorry for her than anything. :-/
Ryan - I am not suggesting that makeup is inherently bad, either. It would be very hypocritical of me to say that, since I wear it myself.
So I think you are right, there are definitely tasteful and not tasteful ways to wear makeup.