I’m sure nobody remembers, but way back in April, I mentioned that I would need to get my wisdom teeth out sometime this year. Well, today was my lucky day.
I’m no stranger to dental work. Before I was thirteen I had had two sets of braces and a Herbst appliance (a contraption with medal rods to move your jaws) and palate expander (a metal plate that sits on the roof of your mouth) jammed in my mouth at various times.
I still remember sitting down to dinner the night after I got the Herbst appliance and the palate expander put in. The kindly orthodontist’s staff had assured me that I would be able to eat soft foods by the end of the day. So I enthusiastically shoved a bite of soft pasta into my mouth… and then tried to chew. And tried. And tried. And succeeded only in grinding the metal rods together and getting a piece of pasta wedged up in between the roof of my mouth and the palate expander.
And then I sat there and bawled. Because although I am in general a reasonably sensible person, in that moment of blind terror I was completely convinced that that damp pasta would be clinging to the roof of my mouth FOREVER. And obviously since my jaws could not master the art of closing together with those awful poky metal sticks getting in their way, my parents would be forced to pour cans of instant breakfast down my throat three times a day FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I felt exactly like Randy in A Christmas Story. (”I can’t move my arms!! I caaan’t mooove my aaarms!!!”)
I would like to say that that incident was the last time I cried over a dental operation, but I would be lying, because that is exactly what I did this morning when I discovered that I could no longer feel my face. I was okay through the trip to the office and even for the insertion of the anesthetic needle (This is, believe it or not, the first time I’ve had a needle poked in me since I was a little kid, so I was afraid of that part in particular mostly because I could not remember what it was like.).
But after my groggy trip home and after Mom sat me down in the living room, I somehow got around to bringing my hand up to my chin and lips and discovering… that THEY WEREN’T THERE. At least, as far as my chin and lips could feel, they weren’t! And as I sat there grabbing what felt like this huge, swollen, chunk of flesh hanging limply off of my face, I couldn’t take it. I started crying again. In my defense, I was still heavily drugged at this point, so that probably made the whole situation much more overwhelming than it should have been.
In general, however, I’ve been doing all right since this morning. I’ve been planted in front of the TV with rolls of gauze sticking out of my mouth pretty much the entire day, living on jello and milkshakes. It’s only been in the last several hours that I’ve had enough energy to move around. But I can feel that energy fading. And I just took my vicodin, so it’s time to sleep…
I’ll leave you with this, though… although I am not quite brave enough to post photos of myself in recovery 
, I will share some of the notes I wrote to Mom this afternoon when I was not supposed to speak, for whatever meager entertainment value they might provide:
Oh, and one more thing, being put out is REALLY weird. Especially when they don’t even tell you that they’re doing it! I had never had a general anesthetic before. I just remember being relieved that the needle insertion was over, and the next thing I knew I was slowly coming to in the recovery room. All day I’ve been remembering little details of that room and the nurse and the walk out to the car. But I was still extremely out of it. I wouldn’t say it was an extremely pleasant experience, losing a chunk of time from your life in which you have NO idea what happened to you or what you might have said or anything.
In conclusion: I got my wisdom teeth out, but I’m okay, if a little out of it. So if this post is disjointed I blame it on the drugs.
That’s hopefully the only time I’ll legitimately be able to say that.
August 18th, 2006 at 6:34 am
Oh my heck, I don’t miss that time in my life. BUT I did survive and can say it DOES get better. (o: Wishing you comfort and anti-dry sockets.
August 18th, 2006 at 6:37 am
(ALSO I had both of those appliances in my mouth and braces twice and two oral surgeries—one that exposed an i-tooth that was in the roof of my mouth. They attached a bracket and a gold chain to that tooth once exposed and began slowly taking links out of the chain over the next few months, to move it into place. So the point of this obnoxiously long comment is to say I have felt your pain. The end.)
August 18th, 2006 at 6:53 am
Well, Erin! I’m so glad that it went half-way well for you. I thought about calling you yesterday but figured that all I would hear is a few slurry mumbled jumbled words, and then… you would fall asleep on the phone. What good would that phone call do anyone? Anyway, I’m happy for you. You are now minus four pesky teeth. Congrats! Much love.
August 18th, 2006 at 10:53 am
I probably wouldn’t have posted that photo had I had all four out. Just one doesn’t lead to much swelling, so you could still make out my facial features. Plus, I was bored. I didn’t watch many movies like I’d anticipated. In fact, I mostly just laid in bed doing nothing.
I had all the appliances you did, plus I got my twelve-year molars removed several years before my wisdom tooth came out, so I’d say we’re about even. Except for, you know, one versus four
Hope you feel better soon.
August 18th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Ah the joy of having wisdom teeth out, good times. Hope you aren’t drooling too much.
Very good movie selection as well.
August 19th, 2006 at 9:14 am
Oh Erin, I can TOTALLY relate to your early childhood dental woes… When the orthodontist told me I wouldn’t have to have braces or a retainer- [{(EVER)}] -I cried for days. I was devastated. Haha… I’m just playin. I’ve to have all 4 wrenched out sometime. The doc did mention the possibility that they would settle in fine though…
And hey, I saw you up and around at the fair yesterday so you’ve gotta be feeling better by now, yeah? As long as you don’t die you’ll be fine.
When are we going to get to see the pictures that you took at the fair?
August 20th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
oh man — i totally remember when i got my wisdom teeth out, and i totally feel for you. glad you’re feeling better enough to write.
the day after i got mine out, i went to a small party at someone’s house that night. i remember i was telling a story to a couple of people and one of my friends reached over and grabbed my jaws and sorta shook my head from side-to-side and said “awww — you’re so cute.” he didn’t know i had just had my wisdom teeth out — i was cute for some other reason! the pain — oh! the pain! i still remember it. and it was almost 20 years ago.
hope nothing like that happens to you! feel better fast.
and thanks, btw, for your loyalty to me and my almost-defunct-but-now-back-up-and-running blog. you’re a sweetie.
August 24th, 2006 at 1:52 am
Ashley and Glynnis – I didn’t know I was in such fine orthodontic company! I suddenly feel less alone. Very few of my real life friends had as many orthodontist visits as I did.
Matt – Good movies, eh?
Unfortunately I never ended up watching any of those ones. Oh well.
Jared – Boo hoo for you
Laurie – Oh my gosh! It was painful even to read that story! No, I’m sure nothing I went through this week was that bad. OUCH. Thanks for sharing.
(Oh, and you’re very welcome for the loyalty. 
)