For weeks, I have longed for the sweet, sweet freedom that is spring break. While I was staying up all hours of the night writing papers and studying for finals, I imagined what it would be like to spend my time taking photographs and writing blog posts and cleaning my room and organizing my life and when I was tired just… going to bed!
And then reality hit.
You see, while a normal, sane person might look at a day like today—a day completely free of prearranged responsibilities—and say, “Hey! Today is my opportunity to do all kinds of things! I can get together with friends, I can write, I can draw, I can take care of projects that have been nagging me,” I took one look at today and said, “Too many options. Overwhelmed. Going back to bed.”
And that is how I found myself, after I returned from taking my roommate to the train station this morning, sleeping away half the afternoon. You could argue that I needed the sleep, but all the same, it left me feeling bitter at myself for wasting all that precious time.
One of the nice things about having a confining, crazy-making school schedule, I’ve discovered, is that it tends to crowd out all the ways you could be spending your time and focuses your attention on the task at hand: completing schoolwork. In that way, it actually removes responsibility. It also prevents you from sleeping through the whole day.
There I go again—eyeing that grass on the other side of the fence. 
Don’t worry… in a few weeks I’ll be longing for summer break.
March 24th, 2007 at 8:36 am
oof. yeah. lots of options are hard for me too, sometimes. especially when it’s like “hhmmm… what thing do i really need to do, but don’t want to do, should i do next?”
the school structure is a little helpful to force things into productivity.
and the sleeping ’cause i don’t want to deal with things? i do that too… ugh.