(This post contains a BIG spoiler for the Star Wars novel Sacrifice. You’ve been warned.)

I know, I know.

Star Wars is not real. Mara Jade is a fictional character. Authors have a right to do what they will with their fictional characters. Yada yada yada…

But… do you even know how many hours I put into this website? Do you know how many more hours I spent longing to be Mara Jade? Or at least to meet her? Yeah, I thought not.

So, what do you think they did in the latest Star Wars novel? They killed her off!

Never mind the fact that I have not read a single Star Wars novel or spent more than thirty seconds thinking about Mara Jade for the last four years; I am still taking this personally. I wish there was some way I could rectify this horrible atrocity—but it seems the deed has been done, so all I can really say is…

… Mara lives, folks. MARA LIVES.

Wow. My freshman year is over. I’m a sophomore now. How on earth did that happen?

I don’t believe I have any poignant observations to make about this year’s passing that didn’t come spilling out in my last entry. Suffice it to say, it came and went more quickly than I would have thought possible—and my surroundings have changed so dramatically from two weeks ago that I’m having a hard time calling up the details of my life for the last nine months. It was a relief to see a couple of girls from my class at a small social gathering last week; their presence reassured me that this whole thing hasn’t been a bizarrely-detailed dream.

As I observed at the end of last school year, summer always sneaks up on me and then rushes by before I’ve had a chance to properly enjoy it. But at least, as I head into this summer, I already feel like it is practically over; this either means that I’m finally becoming more realistic, or that summers are getting even shorter. I guess we’ll see.

Part of my increasingly fatal practicality is the realization that summer ‘to-do’ lists rarely get ‘to-done’. But because I would hate to let that long-time optimist living inside of me die for good (that was sarcasm), I’m going to make one anyway. Here, to keep me accountable (and to give you an idea of what I’m up to if I’m not posting here) are some of my goals for the summer:

• Once again, I need to make some money. Quite a bit of money, actually; I want to cover as much of next year’s rent as I can before the school year starts. My primary source of income will still be my anonymous retail location, but I have several photography jobs lined up as well.
• As a corollary to that, I would like to develop my photography business further. I have already taken steps towards this—especially to improve my post-processing capabilities. More on this later. (Maybe.)
• We all know what very important book is coming out on July 21st, right? RIGHT? My goal is to read all six Harry Potter books in a row before the seventh and final book is released.
• As loathe as I am to contemplate schoolwork at the moment, I suppose I ought to practice my Greek a little bit—I’d hate to lose my whole first year over the summer.
• I want—no, I am going to build a bookcase. After expressing my desire to buy an unfinished bookcase and paint it up for my room at Gutenberg next year, Dad suggested that I just build one. That sounded pretty exciting, so with my Dad’s help, I’m going to do just that this summer. I’ll keep you posted on its progress.
• If you ask me, Lylium.org could use a little freshening up. It’s been almost a year since I unveiled the current design, and although I love it, feel that a nip here and a tuck there could help me set the site’s design perfectly in alignment with its evolving purpose and style. Wish me luck on that.
• Oh, and… I should probably finish moving into my Parents’ house before it’s time to move out again. (My mom just almost had a heart attack when she read that—my boxes of crap are currently lining all of our tiny houses’ hallways—just kidding, Mom! I’ll be done in a few days! )

So. There are some of my possibly-underwhelming-but-quite-a-relief-from-the-school-year plans for the summer. What about you? Are you doing anything exciting this summer? Let’s hear about it.

My roommate moved out today. She packed up her clothes and her books and the netting that hung above her bed; she put them in boxes and loaded them into the truck that carried her home—and with her, she took more than half the life away from our little basement room.

Her departure was a visceral reminder that my mind has been so focused on the details of this final and that paper that I have been totally oblivious to my first year of college slipping out from under my feet.

But here it goes—there it went. This time next week, I will be back on my growing-up end of town, spending time with my friend Savanna and processing photos and going to work at my anonymous retail location—and, most likely, I will be missing school.

I guess what I’m trying to say is—I need to appreciate what I have while I have it. Because as much as I would love to fast forward past my studying and my paper-writing, there’s so much in these days to appreciate: the lovely evening air that’s blowing in these windows; the familiar, beloved faces buried in their books just like me; even the pressure of having to make myself work—these moments are blessings. Life is thick with them, and they are thick with life.

And they are slipping by faster than I possibly could have imagined.

Finals week has me in its grip right now, so I don’t really have time for words. I just wanted to share this photo, taken a few weeks ago on a brief jaunt to the river, which has been gracing my desktop and making me giggle ever since:

I think this shot sums me and my friends up pretty well.

I vividly remember the afternoon this past January when I refused to shoot Zeb and Sarah’s wedding.

I had just finished the blood-, sweat-, and tear-ful process of editing and delivering the photos for Dane and Morgan’s wedding while starting a new quarter at school—and in my usual relentlessly all-or-nothing fashion, I had sworn photography off altogether.

“It’s too stressful,” I told anyone who would listen, “I can’t do it and school at the same time! I might as well give up!”

And that’s when my sister-in-law Melanie let me know that she had just given her friend Sarah my number. Sarah was getting married in June—I knew what that meant. And what’s worse, her wedding was right before finals week. “No ma’am, no way, no how!” I told Melanie. I was good and done with shooting weddings.

And then my phone rang. It was Sarah. I answered, fully prepared to deliver the bad news. “I’m sorry, Sarah,” I could hear myself saying, “But you’ll just have to find someone else.”

Ten minutes later, I walked back into the room where Melanie sat with my head hung low. I threw myself into a chair opposite her and, as she looked at me expectantly, I muttered, “Well, goshdarnit, I said yes.”

Turns out I can’t give up on something that I love as much as photography quite that easily—as soon as Sarah started talking about the plans she had and how excited she was and the kind of photography she wanted, well, wouldn’t you know it—I couldn’t imagine giving up the opportunity to be a part of that day.

And the rest is history… or will be, soon. I had a blast shooting an engagement session with Sarah and her fiance Zeb in February (you can view a slideshow of that by clicking here or on the photo above), and am stoked to shoot their wedding two days from now.

And yes, I’m beginning to remember how insane shooting a wedding right before finals week is—but if life has taught me anything, it’s that a little insanity never hurt anyone. Right?