Comments on: Sorted

By: Dualist

Dualist — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:02:19 +0000

Catching up from way behind, as usual. I completely understand your classifications, and have used similar ones myself for many years. I can’t count the number of times I’ve told a friend “you don’t need that person in your life, he/she/it is not helping you, just draining your life essence away.” I was always the strong one, the protector, the one whom all the girls could come to with their problems.

And then, my life changed. I became one of those unreliable people who, with the best of intentions, didn’t follow through on promises. I tried to do too much and ended up doing not nearly enough, or at times nothing. I could feel myself sliding from category A to B and didn’t like it, but felt powerless to change it.

I recovered, and fell back, and am recovering again. I took a lot of pride — perhaps false pride? — in being a solid category A. Becoming a category B person, and worse, having to ask others for help! was the worst experience of my life. And yet, emerging from the far side once again, I can see that it has helped me grow and become a more complete person. I can help people now, not with the smug self-satisfaction of being a strong, solid category A person, but with the knowledge of what it’s like to desperately and completely need the help of another human being.

Best of luck in school and life, Erin.

By: Jem*

Jem* — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:29:45 +0000

I used to base my opinion of a person completely on my first impression. You can ask Tommy how that worked out in his case. It’s hard not to be caught in that trap. We’re so quick to protect ourselves that we don’t open up to the many types of people and styles of relating in the world. But you’re a definite A in my book!

By: Sam

Sam — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:32:03 +0000

I was talking about a similar thing yesterday, to my traveling companion. I think my groups are a little different, but people are very much in one or the other. And yeah, I wish I could stop weighing them too.

By: Victoria

Victoria — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:46:58 +0000

I came to almost this exact same realization about a year ago (I have the same groups and everything). You really want there to be a group B so you don’t have to care about them, but it just doesn’t work that way. It’s hard, but it’s a good lesson. I’m still learning it.

By: Erin Julian

Erin Julian — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 00:15:26 +0000

Cobbled: I think there is something to that; the judgment I’m talking about may very well often stem from the basic attraction/repulsion that different personality types experience when confronted with each other. But it is also deeper than that; it is a refusal to see through bad qualities to good ones–and a blindness to those same bad qualities in myself. Just because someone might never be my best friend does not mean that they are any less worthwhile as a human being.

Adam & Philip: Thank you both very much. I write things like this because they burn a hole in my heart if I don’t get them out, but it’s very gratifying that others can find value in them too.

By: Philip Renich

Philip Renich — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:40:17 +0000

We are each of us a special blend of the twoâ€”a treacherous cocktail so equally capable of love and hate that any attempt to see which rules in our hearts from our earth-bound vantage point seems futile at best.

I have to agree with Adam on this: what a great sentence! I love the crafting of it. I’m so excited to see you posting more. Writing like this makes me smile with pleasure reading it.

PS – love the pictures you’ve put up recently on Flickr too!

By: Cobbled

Cobbled — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:19:55 +0000

Perhaps – and I’m just uttering a random thought here – its not that you truly classify people this way – you just natually get on with some kinds of people and don’t with others (as does anyone) and the way you’ve chosen to interpret who you do and do not get on with is through this ‘Class A’ and ‘Class B’ system. But I think its awfully big of you to readily admit it and that you know you’re wrong – don’t feel too bad about it… :p

By: Adam C.

Adam C. — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:53:03 +0000

…a treacherous cocktail so equally capable of love and hate that any attempt to see which rules in our hearts from our earth-bound vantage point seems futile at best.

That may be one of the most interesting, original phrases I have ever seen on a blog.