Friday, January 29th, 2010

Once again, I reached the end of today without taking a photo. I only remembered as I was falling asleep without meaning to and without having gotten ready for bed… the idea for this photo was the only thing that got me up.

That ring has been on my finger for a week now—and what a week it’s been. It’s amazing what a bang a decision that has been quietly making itself for months can produce when it’s externalized. Suddenly, I’m allowed and expected to plan a wedding. Suddenly, everyone can see that I’m entering a new chapter. Suddenly, I can’t pretend my life is not changing.

This week has been a rollercoaster ride from joy and excitement down into fear and anxiety up into giddy planning… and so on, and so on. Gil, meanwhile, has walked beside me steady as he ever is—constantly patient, constantly a grounding force. (Although he has been sick this week—in sympathy with my sudden spike in stress, he hypothesized. ) My calmest moments are when I remember that the entire reason we’re doing this is to spend the rest of our lives together.

And meanwhile, there’s school. Lots of it. And there’s my thesis. And there’s taking pictures every day. You see why I’ve almost forgotten so many days now.

But as crazy as the last week has been, I do feel like it is balancing out. The rollercoaster is slowing down, mercifully, at least for a day or two. The wedding details which most needed to be hammered out are being hammered out. My brain is shifting focus back to schoolwork. A few impromptu talks with friends and family have helped remind me of how much I have to be thankful for—and it’s a lot.

And with that thought, now I really will go to bed. Sweet dreams.

Posted on Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 12:44 am.
Belongs with: Photo Things, Things to think about, Wedding Things.
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