A wedding cannot be summed up by details, and a marriage cannot begin to be described by a wedding, but I know if I were one of the few people who still read this blog I would want some wedding details and photos. So I will give them to you.

First of all, my dress was the find of a lifetime. I made a sketch (before I even got engaged, truth be told) and decided that the best way to achieve the design I had in mind would be to find a vintage dress and remake it. God was apparently on my side on that one, because the very first time I went looking at a local vintage clothing store, I found “the one.” It was long-sleeved and very much too big for me, but it was only thirty dollars and the fabric was amazing. After my seamstress took it in, gave it a strapless sweetheart neckline and added tulle, it was a whole new creature. And I loved it. (You can see some better photos of the dress in our photographer’s blog post.)

(Photo by one of my bridesmaids)

My headpiece was from this shop on etsy… I highly recommend taking a look at her gorgeous floral headbands and combs.

My wedding band is from etsy as well, actually; I decided to go with something economical and unique for the time being, so I had this ring made to fit me. I love it. (I know, I’m one of those people who can contemplate switching to a different wedding band someday. My mother thinks I’m crazy, but there you have it.)

Once again, for photos of Gil and I, of the gorgeous location (we had the wedding at Mt. Pisgah), of our bridal party, and of other details, please take a look at our photographer’s blog post. He did a fantastic job capturing the day. If you are someone I know in real life and would like to see the full gallery, let me know and I will give you the password.

That’s all for now. I hope, as I continue to get used to the new normal around here, that I will find time to come share more words and photos with you in the near future. Until then.

• Completed my thesis.
• Defended said thesis successfully.
• Graduated from Gutenberg College.
• Been given a (very lovely) wedding shower.
• Moved Gil into the apartment where we’ll both live after the wedding.
• Attended to a seemingly endless number of details in preparation for the wedding / moving / life after college.
• Watched a dear friend get married on the beach (last weekend) and made preparations to be in another dear friend’s wedding (this weekend).

I hope you will forgive my silence. It was not my intention to be gone for so long–but then, it never is. Of course, at this point this blog is mostly for me–and for the few people who I know read it. So for you, you loyal few, and me, I wish I could come back now with a satisfying wrap-up of my time at Gutenberg and a preview of what’s to come; but frankly, I have neither the time nor the energy.

The best I can tell you is that when (if) my life settles down a little, I will be back. Writing is something I’ve discovered I can’t go very long without, and so I suspect blogging will not be either. But there are things in life that demand my attention away from the internet, and I am happy to give it to them. Especially since I am marrying one of them. I’m sure you understand.

As you may have noticed, I have also made a few changes to the design around here. It was time for a change; it has been for quite a while. If you happened to stop by on the afternoon I was working on this, you’ll know that I conducted these changes “live,” bit-by-bit. In fact, I still don’t think I am entirely done. This blog, like my life and each of ours, shall remain a work in progress.

Today (now that it is past midnight) is my Aunt Annette’s birthday. I share with my aunt (among other things) a passion for creating, a love of dabbling in new disciplines, and an endless pursuit of excellent skincare. She has been a big and positive influence in my life, and I hope she knows it. In her honor, because she is a dog person, I share with you and her the above photos of an adorable doggie whom I recently captured surveying the backyard at a bridal shower.

Dear Aunt Annette: a card is on its way to you but will be belated by the time it reaches you. So let me, here and now, wish you a very Happy Birthday indeed!

Love,
- Your Niece

I’ve had the same bedspread since I was 14. That is going to change this summer, for obvious reasons, but for now I am still camouflaged by my bed when I sit on it in jeans.

Which makes me think of… (it doesn’t really, but I’m trying to somehow tie this post together) Anna Karenina. I finished it just in time for the discussion we had on Wednesday, and I do not think that anything I have read has affected me as strongly since The Deathly Hallows. (If you are tempted to laugh at that, please re-read the entire Harry Potter series and then get back to me. But that is a different discussion altogether.) The novel is incredibly rich, and I highly recommend it; please do not be scared of its 940 pages. Even if you take a year to read it, which I almost did, I think you will find it worthwhile.

One of the most rewarding aspects of the book is Tolstoy’s incredible grasp of the way people work. I found myself in every character he wrote, because no matter how evil and selfish some of the choices that the characters made were, Tolstoy refused to “villainize” any character–he showed their thought processes in such a way that it honestly left me wondering whether I would not make the same choice in their situation. This is the danger of all our evil; it is so easy to convince ourselves that it is good.

Song for today:

Every future is uncertain, but sometimes it is more obvious than others.

It may not seem uncertain. I do know (as much as we can know): when I’m graduating (hopefully), who I’m marrying, when and where I’m marrying him, and where we will live.

But I don’t know: when I will be done writing my thesis, where our money will be coming from, what it will be like to be married, or what it will be like to live on our own. I don’t even know what tomorrow will bring, let alone the next new, uncertain year. I suppose this is part of the faith we’re asked to have—faith that tomorrow or the next day will not bring us more than we can handle.

I tend to underestimate what I can handle, though, so often I look at what the day has brought me and assume it is too much. Like today, when Gil assured me I could squat the weight he had put on my shoulders, and I whined and whined that I could not possibly, until I finally tried a little harder and did it. God does that to me almost every day; you would think, by now, I would have learned to not whine and to just push—but no.

Speaking of days, they are rushing past. Every morning I wake up (unwillingly) and stare down a marathon to-do list. I have to make choices like: will I work on my thesis, or will I do the reading that is due for this afternoon’s discussion? Will I chat with friends today at lunch or will I work out, since it is the only time today I can possibly do it? I hate that these are decisions I must make. I wish I could take everything just a little bit slower. I wish I could take spoonfuls of these last school days and roll them around on my tongue like the chocolate ice cream I just remembered I have in the fridge. Instead, I am gulping them down, because it seems that is the only way to fit everything in them that needs to be done.

I wish, I wish, I wish… and yet, I know I can handle this too. It may not be easy, it may not be certain, it may not be picture perfect, but it is a part of this life I am living, and it is full of blessings I forget to remember. Lord, help me remember. And help me push.

View the second photo larger on black.

Here’s how it went down:

Erin: “Okay, let’s go cut your hair!”

Gil: “Yay!”

Elapsed time: 10 minutes

Gil: “Are you done yet?”

Erin: “Shh.”

Even. Must make it even.

Elapsed time: 20 minutes

Gil (with growing frustration): “Unngghh!”

Erin: “Hold still! I’m almost done!”

Even. EVEN. EVEN!!

Elapsed time: 40 minutes

Gil: *Weeps silently.*

Erin: *Keeps snip-snip-snipping. Her eye twitches. She is blind to everything except the giant, sneering, uneven haircut in front of her.*

_____

Furthermore, this neurosis has gone ahead and extended itself to everything I see today, as evidenced by the fact that I am sitting here on my parents’ front porch trying to write my thesis and all I can think about is how much I’d like to take some giant scissors to the uneven patches of grass on their lawn.

I’d snip those bits there… and those there…

And those ones over there…

*Pause*

Gil: “I’m an alien.”

“What?”

“All of my children will be lizards.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Years from now when you have lizard babies you’ll remember this conversation.”

-  Anonymous

Here’s me, five years old, already displaying an entrepreneurial and somewhat idealistic spirit (not to mention a love of purple):

Here’s me and Gil, in one of my favorite photos from our lovely engagement session this February:

(Photo copyright Brandon Schmidt of Foto Vitae.)

Sixteen years apart—same girl, same table. What a visible reminder of the change that happens in such a short period of time.

(For the record: thanks in large part, I assume, to that giant purple hat, my “picture” business was actually quite successful. Most people who stopped paid me more than ten cents, and I’m pretty sure the mailman left me with a dollar and the picture he had paid for. I distinctly remember the satisfaction with which I subsequently purchased those roller blades I wanted so badly. Ten points for five-year-old Erin!)